Why We Need to Abolish Daylight Savings Time

& other grievances

I fucking hate Daylight Savings Time. It has never saved us from anything. So I’m going to talk about it, and hopefully convince you that “springing forward” is stupid as fuck and “falling back” is the way to live.

1. It’s Bad for Your Health

Scientists have been screaming for years that our bodies are attuned to standard time. Perhaps that’s why it’s the STANDARD. Have we ever heard of CIRCADIAN RHYTHMS? Your circadian rhythm is your body’s 24-hour clock. Morning light resets the rhythm. And by nightfall, our bodies produce melatonin, which makes you feel drowsy. We follow the sun! The sun is our god!

Studies have shown that the extra hour of light in the morning is bad for our bodies. It throws us out of wack and our cycle falls out of sync.¹ And now, with the hour forward, our bodies think it’s 7am even though it’s 8am for no reason, which shifts our exposure to morning light. And morning light helps us wake up naturally and improves our alertness. AND THEN, exposure to more light later at night delays our brain’s release of melatonin. So we’re going to bed later, thereby decreasing our overall time of sleep. In some places during DST, you don’t see the sunrise till 8:30am.

Other serious negative health effects from this loss of sleep include increased strokes and heart attacks. Also people who live on the western edge of the time zone (aka Michigan) have higher rates of obesity, diabetes, heart disease, and breast cancer, compared to their eastern edge counterparts.²

2. It Just Encourages Capitalism

I LIKE IT when it gets dark because it tells me I can stop working. I do not want to leave work or class at 5pm with the sun blasting because then I feel like I need to do something. I DO NOT WANT TO DO SOMETHING. I do not appreciate constantly feeling like I need to “take advantage” of the sunlight because GUESS WHAT. IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE GONE AT THIS POINT.

Everything is just shifted later. The sun will be fully out and it’s already 7pm. I should’ve eaten dinner an hour ago! Stop making me feel like I need to be productive for longer!

Here’s a history lesson for you: DST was first implemented during WWI and then brought back again during WWII. The idea was conserve coal and other resources during wartime. (A common argument for DST is that it saves energy and actually, longer daylight increases energy consumption by 1% because we’re using our ACs more.) After WWII, the US federal government let the states decide what they wanted to do, but it proved difficult with train schedules and other shit. So in 1966, Congress passed a law to establish a uniform DST: it’d start in April and end in October. Six months each. Fine. But then in 2007, Congress amended the law to expand DST to March and October. Eight and four. That’s hardly fair. States are allowed to opt out so Hawaii and Arizona are on permanent standard time.

Do you know who supported and lobbied for the 2007 amendment? The United States Chamber of Commerce. It is NOT a government agency, though the name would suggest that, and is instead the largest lobbying group. They fully supported extending DST because that meant stores could stay open longer and people would spend more money. Also, the golf industry noted significant earnings from DST. And candy companies saw profit increases because DST now fell after Halloween. It’s all a fucking scam. Stop fucking with my circadian rhythm so you can make more money. Just remember, when you’re sitting there, advocating for DST, you are no better than these capitalist Republican overlords.

3. We Have Already Tried Year-Round DST

In 1974, Congress tried to make DST permanent year-round. And guess what? People fucking hated it and kids died. No seriously. Because kids would have to go to school in darkness so then 8 kids in Florida got hit by a car. So why, exactly, would this work now? It wouldn’t.

In conclusion, I need standard time to be permanent. I can’t live like this anymore. I don’t care. Like I don’t need an extra hour of sun. In fact, I reject it. Let me rot in peace without feeling like I need to be productive. Standard time is NORMAL. We live and we die by standard time. My body is one with the earth. She is in harmony with standard time. She yearns for her natural circadian rhythm. Thank you.

4. My Other Grievances

And here are just some other things that are bothering me atm:

1. FINE. I’ll admit it. My life is a little bit boring without Throne of Glass.

2. The shoes I wanted to buy retail for $350 but they were 50% off for like the past week and today when I was FINALLY ready to take the plunge…they’re full price again.

3. I hate it when people say “lol” as if they’re doing you a favor. Like when you ask a question and they’re like “No lol.” What the fuck are you loling for? Just say “No, sorry!”

4. My hair is getting noticeably greasy on day 2 hair and it’s pissing me off. Also my skin is still red and blotchy around my mouth and I have to take my composite photo on Friday and I’m going to look ugly.

5. I need Elon Musk to d**.

5. Alternatively…What’s the Opposite of a Grievance?

It does not do to dwell on things that are pissing you off or whatever Dumbledore said.

1. I found a very nice perfume combo for spring, by combining my two spring scents. Who knew.

2. The tacos I made for dinner were very nice.

1. AP: https://apnews.com/article/daylight-saving-time-spring-forward-sleep-health-5d7b96c3bc1ed243dd6e41b17ec8ee25

2. See id.