Sabrina, the Beckhams, Harry Potter, and RIP House

in other words, June 7-June 13

Sabrina Carpenter

So, as we all know, she released her album cover and title, Man’s Best Friend.

I’m not stupid, and in conjunction with the lead single being called “Manchild”, I just assumed everyone else was on the same page that this title is tongue-in-cheek. But no.

I don’t have any thoughts on this because I really just don’t care (to be clear, I do understand that she is not actually comparing herself to a dog). Critical thinking skills, people. Also we haven’t heard the album yet so hold off on the think pieces. People are enraged without knowing what they’re even enraged about.

The Beckham Family

I had a class during 2L called Business Enterprises, which is about as fun as it sounds. We learned about mergers, proxy voting, and other things I can’t remember because I’m not there yet in my bar prep class. One topical thing we touched on was how Nelson Peltz tried to engage in a proxy battle at Disney by joining the board as a shareholder because he was mad at the direction Disney is going in. He lost the bid, but that doesn’t matter to this useless anecdote. During class, my professor threw his photo up on the board and asked if anyone knew who he was. I said yes, mostly to myself, but she overheard me and asked how I knew him. And I begrudgingly had to answer, “Oh this is David Beckham’s son’s father-in-law.”

To catch you up,

• Brooklyn and Nicola got married in like 2023 in Palm Beach (are you familiar?). She wore a Valentino wedding gown with those stupid fucking shoes. I understand it was Valentino’s whole shtick at the time but are you fucking kidding me. Also, the neckline bugs. And the hair color. And the bangs. Her dad is a raging Republican so don’t feel bad.

• At the time, even I was like, huh that’s odd, your MIL is Victoria Beckham?

• Other people also caught on, so Nicola gave an interview at some point and said Victoria was the original plan but then she had to back out, so Nicola went with Valentino.

• Well, David Beckham very recently only turned 50. He had kids very young, clearly. The Beckhams are a famously tight-knit family but Brooklyn and Nicola were not there. So what gives?

To preface, Nicola Peltz sounds like a horrible person. She is rumored to have like kicked her nanny down the stairs or something. And her dad is a billionaire. I will say apparently he expressed regret for voting for Trump following the insurrection, which…fine, but then voted for him again in 2024 so. What’s the truth, Nelson? While everything I say is alleged, I do find it highly amusing.

Following the no-show at the birthday party, there have been reports that the Beckhams have had a falling out with their eldest boy. Apparently at the wedding, Marc Anthony (longtime Beckham family friend, JLo’s ex-husband) got up to sing a song and he called up “the most beautiful woman in the room” and went and got Victoria. IMAGINE. It’s YOUR WEDDING. And your MOTHER-IN-LAW is called the MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE ROOM. Apparently Nicola left the room crying. Which fine I’ll give her that, that was probably the appropriate response. Remember in Perks of Being a Wallflower, Charlie (Logan Lerman) is dared to kiss the prettiest girl and instead of kissing his girlfriend Alice(?) wait no, Mary Elizabeth (Mae Whitman) he kisses Sam (Emma Watson) instead? ifewoajfeiojiodsaj.

I think there’s more to the story (allegedly middle son is dating Brooklyn’s ex-girlfriend?) of like the Peltzes being controlling and I’m sure Brooklyn’s long line of failed business ventures (photographer, chef, hot sauce aficionado?) is disappointing to his family. I guess the parties aren’t talking to each other right now and David Beckham is finally getting knighted next week so we’ll see if Brooklyn & spouse show up. David’s years of sucking up to the BRF is finally paying off.

Also remember when Selena was like. Weirdly close with them. What happened with that.

Materialists

I better come out of this movie absolutely crashing out over Chris Evans, if the reviews about his monologue are to be believed.

Whenever A24 puts these shirts in their merch store, I am going to buy it for you and me.

George Clooney

This is for Caitlin mostly but yes, George Clooney has twins. They’re like 8. Imagine Amal Clooney is your mom.

Dua Lipa & Callum Turner

She confirmed their engagement, which we all kinda new about for a few months at least. Congrats to them. Speaking of,

Johnny Flynn & Harry Potter Castings

I recently watched Emma. and it was good (Callum Turner is in it, as is Josh O’Connor)! It’s kinda like Clueless but if it was set in the regency era.

Johnny Flynn, who plays George Knightley, was just announced as Lucius Malfoy in the HBO Harry Potter. Also Tom Felton was at the Tonys and they asked him about JK Rowling and he gave the WOOORSSSSTTTTTTT possible answer. I’m not going to link it because his face is ugly but he basically was like “oh I’m not attuned to any of it but JK Rowling only brings love into the world.” Sure.

And this is why you don’t cheat on your comfort Jane Austen adaptation, people! Matthew MacFadyen would never do this to me (knock on wood).

Speaking of,

Keira Knightley and Rosamund Pike Share Behind-the-Scenes Stories From Pride & Prejudice

I haven’t read/watched it yet but linking here.

Glen Powell

His ex-girlfriend, Gigi Paris, who he famously broke up with after THREE YEARS during Anyone But You with Sydney Sweeney, was on a podcast and oh boy I do feel bad for her.

TL;DR Glenn, Sydney, and the producers of the movie decided to play up the romance and she wasn’t okay with it. He never shut down the cheating rumors, and THEN at the end she was supposed to go visit him on set in Australia and before she left, he called and said he and the producers all decided it was best she didn’t come. So then she broke up with him. That’s gotta suck. Especially because Sydney Sweeney started bragging about how much of a marketing genius she was having the affair rumors run abound.

Hamilton Reunion

Unfortunately, I lib out too hard every time I listen to Hamilton but goddamn that musical is so fucking good. They performed for the 10th anniversary at the Tonys and ugh.

I’d say my top 3 songs are probably “The Schuyler Sisters,” “Helpless,” and “Satisfied.” Huge Eliza Schuyler person, clearly.

Scenes from the Grosse Pointe Woods Library

I’ve unfortunately learned my dad is really annoying during the day so I’ve started coming to the public library to study. It’s fine but a bit obnoxious since I’m not allowed to eat. Also I have learned the public library during the work day is kind of like. Off-putting.

• The oldest man I’ve literally ever seen in my life comes in to do work? taxes? but he has a huuuuuge hunchback due to being, I don’t know, old and just sits there and talks to himself. And answers phone calls. But me eating an orange is a problem.

• This other old guy comes in everyday with a slushie to read the newspaper for hours. And then he also just sits there and talks to himself.

• This one guy was sitting at a table by himself and while there are dozens and dozens of empty tables (okay maybe like 5 in the vicinity but still), another guy goes and sits at the ONE table already taken????

• The lady the other day who asked me for the date even though she had her own laptop AND her phone. Girl. What the hell. Read.

I can’t complain too much bc loss of third spaces or whatever but have some decorum! Literally as I’m typing this someone is blasting “Crazy Frog” in the children’s section I think. I’m going home. Speaking of,

RIP House

Excited to announce to everyone that Sarah and my’s (this cannot be grammatically accurate) House journey came to a close on Wednesday, also known as Hugh Laurie’s birthday. As it was written. So that was really special. Overall, seasons 4-6 were my favorite (season 4 is S-tier), and then 1-3, and then 7-8. Favorite characters obviously Thirteen (Olivia Wilde), Kutner, Chase our Australian princess, and Charlyne. Also a huge soft spot for Taub. And obviously Wilson. As for when House was hottest…I’ll have to rewatch to assess.

Onto Girls! Finally, Chrissy might say. Speaking of,

Corrections Corner

re: Jojo Siwa